Previously, on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Donnie is going to put on his Collar of Evolution.
Like a magical energy swirls around him and he begins increasing in size and a
golden shimmer comes from this energy and he grows to about the size of a human.
Holy shit!
You got a mirror or something?
I can see my beautiful self!
And look at the blue dragon scales that are getting a little bit bigger on the old
chest.
They haven't grown much higher towards your neck, but they're beginning to spread down
to your side.
Which is nice, they haven't grown up because I like to wear a deep V on occasions,
so it's real good that they haven't been creeping up there yet.
I've been noticing you've been trying to get those deep V's, so I've been trying
to hold it back.
I appreciate that a lot.
You walk by Leosin's chambers, he smiles a little bit when he sees you, and he says,
good to see you, my friends.
You've dealt with the Misty Forest and the Dragon Council, everyone is hesitant
to move forward until you return, so thankfully you've returned today.
And Lady Leral Silverhand ushers you to sit at some empty chairs at the table
there and she says, dear adventurers, it is good to see you back.
I guess the more pressing matter, the Dragon Council, will they help us?
They will, but they've made demands that will need to be met before they will help.
We will make sure that arrangements are made to return the items that they are
in need of and to make sure all things have been met.
The doors to the council chambers burst open, a young squire come rushing in.
I come with news of stopping the Cult of the Dragon.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We are a D&D fifth edition Actual Play podcast, and I'm your dungeon master,
Russ More, and with me today is Carla Johnson.
Hey, I'm Carla and I play Nulara Moonbrook.
And also Amy More.
I play Thea Amastasia.
And Tom Laird.
Yeah, that's me.
I play Flint Firebeard.
Guys, it's been so long since we've seen each other.
Oh my god, it's been so long.
It's been so long.
I don't even know if I can remember what happened in the last episode.
I mean, that's pretty consistent.
Stuff? Did stuff happen?
I mean, you did step out for part of it, so that's legit.
I had to sing some lullabies.
I get it.
I can't say the word lullaby without thinking of the Chuck Palahannouk book.
You guys ever read that?
I have not read that one from him.
I've read other stuff from him.
Super creepy.
Apparently, there's a lullaby that if you sing it to your kid, they will die in their crib.
Oh, that sounds fucking great, right?
Thanks, Chuck.
I think you can say that about a lot of his books.
You're reading and you're like, oh, Jesus Christ.
Thanks, Chuck.
I got that visual now.
Yeah, she was describing one to me as she was reading it.
And I was like, this is not for me.
Oh, it's his collection of gruesome stories.
And one dude is at the bottom of the pool
and decided to sit on one of the air intake filters.
I don't know why you're telling.
I'm just going to start talking.
Yeah, no, just stop. Stop telling everything about this.
Read the room, Amy. Read the room.
I can't even watch a trailer to a scary movie,
so I'm not sure why you're trying to tell me horror stories on our podcast.
Well, it's not really a horror story.
I'm sorry.
I already told them.
No, it sounded like it was a horror story.
Well, then, OK.
So I think the last book of his I read was Choke.
And I was like, I'm just going to stop reading him for a while.
I saw the movie.
It was a good book and everything, but it was just a lot.
I read a lot of his stuff.
I'm a sick and twisted individual.
But Chuck, if you want to come on the podcast, you just let us know.
Yeah, three of us won't be there.
I'm sure he's a nice guy.
I like some of his books.
I just thought Amy was going to start telling, like, scary stories,
just to tell in the dark.
And I am not interested.
It was disgusting.
Yeah, that's also a form of scary.
Got his insides ripped out through his butthole.
Oh, God, Amy, I have to say it.
You didn't have to say, yes, I did.
Yeah, I don't think you did.
You know, you know where you won't get your insides ripped out
through your butthole?
Patreon, Patreon dot com slash.
I think that might be the best segue ever.
If you're a patron of ours, we apologize.
Apologize. Yep. Sorry.
Sorry. Even just listen to us casually.
We apologize. Still sorry.
Still sorry.
But if you are a patron of us, you get an episode dedicated to you.
And today, this episode is dedicated to Blaine Covert.
Blaine. Thanks, Blaine.
Blaine, you rock.
You know why Blaine rocks?
Because Blaine is an artist and he is going to drop some character stuff.
Whoa, that's awesome.
Yeah. I've I've heard he mentioned that.
Yeah. Yeah, he said it on Facebook.
So I assume that it's a legally binding kind of thing.
I think so. Yeah, no, 100 percent.
That's how the Internet works.
Every time he says he posts something, I go to it and it's not a picture.
And I'm like, not this time.
Blaine, just never, never post it.
Send it to me directly.
So, you know, me, Tom and Carla can see it,
but just keep posting random things to Facebook.
He wants to do the one where Carla's dying in Grants
as Roundhouse kicks her bot, her spirit back into her body.
And I think that would be an awesome graphic.
Would be.
If you do that, Blaine, you're fantastic.
If you're not, you're still fantastic.
Still fantastic. Because life is busy.
You know what else is fantastic?
That Facebook group.
You're not in that Facebook group.
You should get in there. Things are getting good in there.
It's real fun.
People like post pictures of pets and funny jokes.
And also just like talk about D&D and just life.
It's fun. Yeah, it's a great time.
If you want to join that Facebook group,
we've got it up on our website as well.
DumbDragons.com or it'll be in the show notes as well.
So there's lots of ways to join us and do lots of cool things and fun things.
We make it really easy.
We try and make it easy and fun.
And I mean, once we once it kind of gets set up,
then then it's everybody else making it fun.
And I mean, we just we're just there having fun, having fun.
We're just there. We're just there.
OK, guys, let's play D&D. Yeah.
So you guys are in the council session and a darling squire
has just barged through the door and said something to the effect of
this letter contains the be all end all of ending the cult of the dragon.
I don't know if that's exactly what he said, but more or less, that's what it is.
It was just such a long time ago.
It's hard to say exactly what he said.
So long, so long ago, so long time.
And everybody obviously turns and looks at this this man who's come through
and Lady Silverhand beckons him over
and takes a look at the letter and opens up and reads it.
And and says, well, that's interesting.
And hands it to you.
And then she quietly leaves the room and takes the letter with her.
And we never find out what it says.
This is a teleportation scroll to another world,
and I will be taking it by myself.
She reads it, like pulls out a match, lights it, lights it on fire like, no.
Nobody else needs to know that.
She rips off her clothes to reveal a purple cloak underneath
because she was part of the cult the whole time.
Bump, bump, bump.
I couldn't write that good.
No, she hands you the letter.
I guess you all kind of crowd around the letter and you read it.
And it says it's here.
Hear you. It's hastily scribbled.
It says, you don't know me, but we can help each other immeasurably.
My name is Iskender, and I made a terrible mistake
in joining the cult of the dragon.
The cult's horrifying plans are sure to bring doom to all,
but I can stop those plans with your help.
Rescue me from the cult's clutches,
and I will deliver to you the prize of prizes, the Blue Dragon Mask.
Without it, Severin faces an insurmountable setback
in his effort to call Tiamat back to our world.
The mask is here in Xanthal's tower, being studied and guarded
by only a handful of wizards, including myself.
The danger of my treason becoming known grows with every passing day,
and if I'm discovered, I'll surely be killed.
Please hurry for the sake of everyone and everything you value.
And that's the end of the note.
Well, he is immediately like, sounds like a trap.
Oh, 100 percent.
But do we have any other leads to go with?
No, but I feel like before we get into this,
you all have a succubus problem.
FYI, making people kill themselves and each other.
OK, let's get back to this letter.
Hold on. What?
So, you know that there's been mysterious murder suicides happening.
Yes. Well, there's been a succubus going around,
enchanting people, making them do her crazy shit.
She's working for Tiamat, pretty sure.
Or for the cult.
We had a run in with her last night.
We did. I blinded the bitch.
Wasn't enough because she ran scared.
So she's still out there.
And she she says she knows our plans,
which is highly unlikely considering
we barely know our plans.
So secret, we don't even know what they are.
Well, that does, I guess,
explain how the cult has been able to keep a step ahead of us to this point.
So sorry, you you had a run run in with her and dealt dealt with the issue.
Um, we laid a pretty good smackdown on her, but she yeah.
Of course, they do.
Is is that the reason one of our knights is is currently in jail?
Yeah, he can probably let himself out now.
Oh, OK.
Well, we, I guess, will talk to him.
So they she was
she was convincing them to murder, murder themselves
or each other. Yeah, yeah.
Hmm. We didn't quite figure out the why of that.
Maybe you guys can look into that.
Of course, while we go on this rescue slash
trap mission.
All the best rescue missions end in a trap.
That's what I hear on the street. Word.
Lady Silverhand says with the utmost confidence that you totally believe.
Oh, yeah.
Roll roll for confidence in her street lingo.
That's not she seems like she's street wise.
I don't think she's ever seen the street.
Not in a while, not in a while.
I'm I'm I'm an old elf.
I haven't seen the street in a long time.
Anyways, OK, well, we have press.
What was the tower against? Sorry to interrupt.
What was the name of the tower?
Zontal's Tower X.
O. N. T. H. A. L.
Apostrophe S. Thank you.
Silent Q. T. R.
Oh, wow.
I'm just shocked it didn't start with a G.
Now, if you recall back to your
veram, the white interrogation notes,
he mentioned Zontal's Tower being a stronghold for what was previously
the previous iteration of the Cult of the Dragon, which was, you know,
all about raising Dracaliches and stuff.
And he mentioned two names.
Jorgen, Paul and Iskander were two of the names that he mentioned.
Oh, I remember scoffing at the name Jorgen.
So we've heard of this Iskander person.
So this is yeah, this is a name that should be familiar to you
in in your dealings with veram, at the very least.
Should we go talk to veram before we leave?
Veram, because he's in town, like in jail, isn't he?
As far as you know, yeah.
Because he might have some like insight into how to get into this tower
without raising a big ruckus.
You know how much we hate a ruckus.
I love a ruckus, but it's not helpful a lot of the times.
And he would know if.
I don't know, we might.
He might know if Iskander also was someone who seemed to be having doubt.
OK, let's go talk to veram.
Well, let's ask Silverhand, like is is
when we question veram, he mentioned Iskander.
Can we is he still here in jail?
Can we speak to him again?
Yes, we can make arrangements for you to continue an interrogation of him.
Short answer. Yes, sure.
Also long answer. Yes.
Also long answer. You got it.
Stop trying to be so street.
It's not who you are trying, trying to be relatable to my new
to the youth.
She holds up the page, the page that she pulled out of her sash
and is like, I'm just I'm just trying to be part of the club.
Oh, God. For a second, I thought she literally held up
like the squire, like the page.
I'm trying to be like this.
I'm trying to be like this guy right here.
Tell me your secrets.
And she's screaming into his face.
Things got weird. Yeah, right.
No, she says, yes, we can definitely arrange for you to speak with veram
and ask him about this.
There is one more piece.
One more lead, rather.
No, nobody else can go on except you.
And before this young man stormed into the chambers,
I was about to bring up the fact that you have been requested
by the Wizards of Thay
to go to Thay and speak with them,
then convince them to help us.
I feel like this might be like another one of the Dragon
Council things where it seems like
the blue mask is a pressing issue.
Because if he gets caught, he's going to get murdered.
And so the council of the Thay Wizards
may have to wait a few months.
They have that kind of time.
Aren't the Wizards of Thay bad guys?
Yes. The Wizards of Thay have been helping
or been known to be helping the cult of the dragon in the rise of Tiamat.
But we have been approached by
one such wizard.
Her name is Nye Ilmich,
and she comes directly from the Wizards in Thay.
And they say,
and they give us their word that the Wizards
that are helping the cult of the dragon are in no way related
to the Wizards in Thay.
In fact, they are exiles of.
They position it that if we don't convince them
that we are worthy of their help.
That we will not succeed.
In what's to come.
So we get to choose between trap A or trap B.
Yeah, at least we have a choice.
Would you like the Squire to decide?
No, I think.
Hey, why are you still here?
I don't know. She's still holding me.
She's still yelling in your face.
Slides are dangling.
She's very strong.
I don't know. Let's hash this out, guys.
What do you think?
I think Amy's right in the fact that one might be more time sensitive
than the other, but if these wizards need any sort of time
to, like, get all their shit in a row before they help us out,
that might be time sensitive, too.
Yeah, I think, though, in terms of immediacy,
having the blue mask would definitely buy us
a lot of time, hopefully, because that's kind of an integral piece.
If we have a chance to get an integral piece versus a chance for help
to get an integral piece, I say we go for the piece first,
because if they murder Iskander,
then I mean, that chance is gone.
Whereas we can always plead, you know,
please forgive us.
We were pleading, you know.
Well, we were fighting the cult of the dragon.
Got here as soon as we could.
What's the location difference, like geography wise in one super south?
So Zompel's tower, you know,
to be on the southern edge of the Grey Peak Mountains,
which is near ish to the Serpent Hills.
So you're looking at four to five hundred miles from your current location in Waterde.
Faye, and this is Lady Silverhand talking, Faye is
twenty five hundred miles to the east.
What'd I say?
You're pretty bang on.
Right?
However, Nye Ittlemitch
has the ability to teleport you to Faye.
Now, the concern being you are the only ones to go to Faye.
That places you a very long ways away from here.
I don't want to make decisions anymore.
Looks like it is up to the squire.
Faye, odd, we go and save.
It was odd.
It was a nineteen.
Odd you go and save the guy.
Well, I mean, you're right.
In that Iskander's note does appear that people are on to him,
whereas you can be teleported in an instant to Faye.
It's a whole fuck ton long ways away.
So if you go there first and you for whatever reason get stranded there,
it's hard to get back.
Well, I mean, you have a train, but still like twenty five hundred miles,
as I always said, is still twenty five hundred miles on a train.
Here's the map you've been working on.
It's over here.
Right.
It's not even on the map.
It can't even see the map.
It is literally off the map.
Yeah, they've left it off the map for the very reason that you will not be walking there.
Faye pipes up and she says,
And although I do believe that having a group of wizards wanting to clear their name
and help us would be a tremendous aid in this,
I do think Iskander probably doesn't have a lot of time left.
And if we are to seize this opportunity of potentially getting the blue dragon mask,
I think we would be stupid to pass that up.
I agree.
Oh, you're not talking to talking to.
No.
Well, you were there, too.
I don't mean you were also part of the conversation
and that you're standing there holding that poor squire.
So you can drop him.
That'd be great.
Right.
Right. Sorry.
It's really awkward.
Yes. Be a long boy.
Thank you.
If we are to be symbols, perhaps a victory in recovering a mask would be a good way to motivate.
So I agree.
Let's go with trap A.
Flynn?
Flynn just nods vigorously.
Oh, how vigorously does he nod?
Like nod, like you wouldn't confuse him with someone who's head banging along to metal,
but like almost teeth chattering sound effects.
That's how vigorous.
No, he's not not quite that hardcore.
Just a lot of beard rustling.
Classic beard rustling sound effect.
Why is that a big beard doesn't take a lot for that to rustle?
You need to get him some beard oil for the next winter solstice.
It's real dry in the winter.
Sounding a little crusty.
Ooh, it's all that egg bacon, mega bacon sandwich thing that he had.
It's true.
Or whatever.
Well, I was thinking it was probably some leftover like beefy stew or something like that.
I hope it's not still beefy stew.
That was a long time ago.
Will we have an airship or a train or how can you get us to Xanthal's tower quickly?
Trains do not exist in this world, my dear.
But we can, yes, we can definitely arrange an airship and she points to the window and you see
fact that you didn't see them before because Russ didn't mention them.
There's airships lined all outside, hovering above Waterdeep.
And we will send you with as many as you need to get close,
as close as you can to Xanthal's tower.
That's great because we kind of broke the last one you gave us.
Do you have a spare Grancis?
We broke that one too.
What, what do you mean?
Oh god, no one's told them about Grancis.
Guys, come on.
I go to sing along, bye.
They come back and I have to break the news about Grancis.
Amy, we can't be telling the council about every NPC that dies.
That's all we do.
Grancis has passed.
Grancis, we were attacked.
For someone who hates Grancis, she sure brings them up a lot.
It's true.
Well, because you know what, there is a soft,
like she's got a soft spot for him, but she would never admit it.
Grancis, we were attacked and in the airship and well, Grancis did his best and
essentially saved all of us in the crash.
He was unable to save himself.
Well, rest his soul.
We will take the necessary steps to inform his next of kin
and see that his belongings are given to her.
He had family?
He, yes, he had, has a daughter, Grancine.
It's amazing and horrible in every way.
Oh, it sparked an anger within me just hearing that name.
But we will take arrangements.
I see the look of sadness in your eyes.
I wouldn't want to put you through having to go deliver that news.
White hot sadness.
So, sorry, you are going to Xanthal's tower
and you would like to speak with Ver'em before you leave still?
Yeah, I think that would be prudent.
Of course.
The guards here, I believe we are done all news we have unless more NPCs have died on
your side.
We never did find out what happened to GAlydindin, the upsy-downsy lift machine operator.
Yeah, that's fair.
Might have to go to Silvery Moon for that.
Okay, yes, the guards will take you to see Ver'em and they do so.
They lead you down the corridors, down to the lower levels in this building
and to a single cell where lying on the cot is the good old dwarf Ver'em the White.
You're outside the cell and the guard knocks at the bars and says,
Ver'em, there's these guys here to see you.
Ver'em sits up and says, oh, it's you guys.
Good to see you again.
Reckon shit for the cult.
Doing our best.
Much as we can.
Great.
Well, what brings you down here to little old me?
Had a couple questions about, what is it, Zanthal's Tower?
Zanthal's Tower, yeah, yeah, you're heading there?
What are you heading there for?
Yeah, we got a letter from Iskandar, something like that anyway.
Iskandar, yeah.
He says he can score us the blue dragon mask if we go and free him.
Get him out of there.
What do you think?
Do you think it sounds like a trap?
You seem like the kind of guy.
What do you think?
Is this a trap?
No, I mean, Iskandar was more always kind of,
he was more open to questioning what's going on, you know?
He wasn't ever a guy who would take things at face value
and drink the Kool-Aid, so to speak, just right out of the gate.
Wasn't a yes man, was he?
Yeah, so he and a bunch of other wizards were-
Was it the blue raspberry Kool-Aid?
Because that shit's gross.
Yeah, I think so.
That's the one they had going around last time I was out there.
But yeah, he and some other wizards at the tower
were often put in charge of magical investigations
of different artifacts and elements that were going on.
So, I mean, if they gave him a mask, why did they give him a mask?
Not entirely sure.
Last I heard they were all at the Well of the Dragons.
But that said, it's not unheard of for them
to give those sorts of artifacts to that group at that tower.
So, I mean, that checks out.
Anything we need to know about this tower,
any kind of insight you can give us that would help us
get in there with as little trouble as we can manage?
Well, it's going to be trouble.
Well, yeah, I kind of figured I said with as little trouble.
Sure.
Yeah, no, it's okay.
So.
Paint me a picture.
It's a tower.
Okay.
It's very, it's got like a lovely dragon on top of the tower,
a statue of a dragon, not a real dragon, but a statue of a dragon.
Big open courtyard.
Big open courtyard surrounded by a maze of endless things
that are trying to kill you.
And then some hills.
Some green spots leading away from some mountains.
Okay, so we've got mountains, green spots, hills,
mazes of things trying to kill us, tower with a lovely dragon at the top.
Yeah.
Neat.
Could you be more specific about the mazes and things trying to kill us?
I mean, I've never been through the maze before.
They have a direct teleportation.
Damn, I thought it was a tunnel system.
No, no, that would be easy for you to get in there.
You just have to find the end of the tunnel.
But no, it's like a one-way, two-way transportation
from the Well of the Dragons to Xanthal's Tower.
So either you got to be in Xanthal's Tower
or you got to be at the Well of the Dragons.
Or you just got to fly over the maze.
There's this thing called a barricade, like a magical barricade
that makes you go through the maze.
You can't go over it.
You can't go around it.
You got to go through it.
Yeah, I mean, you could if you can dig really good.
Yeah, so if you try and go over it,
there's this extradimensional teleportation thing
that happens and the thing disappears.
The tower itself, that said.
So you have to go into the maze in order to get to the tower.
I'd like to say there's a way around it.
I mean, you could try and dig,
but I have a feeling that if you go over,
it's going to be a similar thing going on.
Oh, okay.
Now, you said you've never been in the maze,
but do you maybe happen to know the path through the maze?
No, it's an ever-rotating, changing animal.
They have it set up so that if one person goes in,
it's not going to be necessarily the same
for the next person or group to go in.
It's wicked like that.
Maze runner?
Oh.
Maze runner.
Wicked.
Because the maze always changes.
Death care.
Scorch trials.
Fourth one.
Yes, that other one.
Hey there, I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More.
Thank you so much for joining us for episode 46 of Dumbgeons and Dragons,
titled An Interrogation and a Decision.
I don't have a lot for you today,
so I'll just start by saying a huge thank you to everyone
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The next episode will be out next week, August 1st.
Let's get back to the episode right now, though,
and get some interrogating done.
Have a great week.
We'll talk soon.
Okay. I don't know about you guys, but...
I mean, the maze sounds super dangerous, but I'm kind of into it.
Oh, I like your attitude, Thea.
All right.
What I'd probably warn you is just make sure you're stocked up and ready to go.
Because from, I mean, not many people make it out of the maze.
So something tells me there's not a lot of downtime in the maze.
Okay. Well, thanks.
More good news from Varam.
And no one had to get naked.
No, no, I was trying to give you as much as I could, so nobody got naked.
I mean...
I just, I shoot him a big old wink.
Jeepers Creepers.
I mean, it's not Conjugal Visit Day, but...
Out of curiosity, what day is Conjugal Visit Day?
Do you position that to the guard?
I was asking you as the DM.
This is quite the prison if Varam's getting Conjugal.
That's good.
Well, he's in a private cell, too.
There's only one.
It's probably a Wednesday.
Okay.
What are the days of the week in...
Oh, good question.
Oh, that is a good question.
Because I'm sure it's not lunar.
It's not Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.
It's not like a Roman calendar thing going on here.
Lindy, Marty, Meck...
Well, I'm excited.
This has nothing to do with anything.
I know, but we're learning.
Faerunian Standard is a 10-day week.
Oh, God.
So, you've got Chonday, Selday, Helmday, Ogday, Mizday, Kelday, Laffday, Sunaday,
Lidey, and Shardday.
Not to be confused with Shardday.
Oh, that is a much different day.
Completely different.
Each for a different god.
I could go through all the gods if you really want to.
No, that's fine.
Would you like the calendar as well, the months as well?
Because I could correspond them to the appropriate months.
January is Hammer.
Description, Deep Winter.
February is Alturiak, the Claws of Cold.
Of course.
March is Tres, which is of sunsets.
April is Tarsak, which is of the storms.
I'm going to refer to everyone's going to be like,
Winter Birthday, and they'll be like,
Tarsak.
Sintarsak.
Mine's in the Claws of Winter, so...
What was it?
Claws of Cold?
Alturiak, which is the Claws of Cold.
Hammer guy myself.
Yeah.
May, Myrtle, which is the Melting.
June, Kaithorn, which is the Time of Flowers.
July, Flame Rule, which is Summer Tide.
Then we've got August, which is Elysias, which is High Sun.
September, Iliant, which is the Fading.
October, Marpenoth, Leaffall.
November, Uktar, which is the Rotting.
December, Night Tall, which is the Drawing Down.
The Drawing Down.
This is very Northern Hemisphere centric.
Yes.
Yeah.
Well, who doesn't like Four Seasons?
Who doesn't like learning, like we just did?
There is an elven variation of the Ten Day,
which I will send to you for your own information.
Oh, it looks like it's so much harder to say.
Well, it's elven.
So it's all the elven gods.
Anyway, so that's your calendar update.
And when is Conjugal Visit Day?
It's a Wednesday.
Which there is no Wednesday because it's a Ten Day.
It's a Ten Day.
What's wrong with you?
Oh, fuck.
Well, is there a fuck day?
I think that is every day if you're asking flame against.
Well, Og Day.
Og Day, obviously, is Conjugal Visit Day.
Classic Og Day.
Yep.
Obviously, because it's the day for Agma, the god of knowledge.
Oh, yep, that's the one.
I think it would be Cynidae, the god of beauty and love.
Yeah, well, if I had read them all by that point,
that would have been probably a better choice, but I didn't.
It's canon now.
It has been established.
So there's your little bit of the world for this episode.
All right.
I like it.
Yeah.
Thank you, Varan.
And we learned about a place off the map.
We're learning so much about the world.
The world is getting bigger and bigger.
There's so much off the map, guys.
So much.
I can show you the world.
All right.
So you're good.
What else do you need from me?
You can get in through the maze.
Can't go over, can't go under that I know of.
And have to exit through the maze as well, obviously.
No, you exit through the gift shop.
Yeah, I mean.
I don't know.
Depending on how we're doing, maybe we want to.
No, we don't want to go to the dragon.
You probably don't want to go to the well of the dragons.
If you make it to the tower, obviously,
you're probably going to be beat up a little bit.
But I don't know what.
I don't know.
Maybe they have other teleportations.
The only one that I know of is the one to the well of the dragons.
But Iskender, he's a pretty powerful wizard.
Maybe he knows another way out.
Maybe he can create another way out.
Maybe.
I can neither confirm nor deny.
How many people are at that tower?
Ballpark.
Less than a ballpark.
I mean, you're not going to run into.
I mean, there's some cultists that hang out there.
They've got some.
They've got the wizards, mages.
They like to picnic in the death maze.
Yeah.
There's a lot of because there's wizards and mages.
They, you know, they play around with different, you know, elements and.
That sort of thing.
So you're probably only going to run into a few cultists, but
what they can drum up is probably going to be more of your concern.
Okay.
But we're not walking into an army.
Oh, no.
No, I mean, unless they've added stuff since the last time I was there.
It's going to be your big hurdle is going to be the maze.
And then once you're in there, it's.
Those five wizards.
The magic folks and what they've got placed around the building to protect themselves.
There's traps, y'all.
Well, this sounds great.
Hey, do we know how the page boy got this letter?
You didn't ask that question.
I'd like to ask before we leave because it just seems kind of weird if,
you know, nothing in, nothing out.
This is a very good question.
So let's leave around, see if we can get back to that.
Well, I guess we'll go back to the council chamber and see if.
Yeah, you head back up to the council chamber and some people have filtered out.
Lady Silverhand is still there.
A couple other members are still there.
The boy is not there, but a quick look outside the building.
You see him seated on the front steps.
You there, boy.
What day is it today?
It's dog day.
It's all day.
I know because I had sex this morning.
He's probably like 12.
Thanks, Squire.
Squires are like little boys, right?
Sorry, what was the question?
How did you, how did you get this letter?
How did you come to get this?
I'm obviously holding the letter because I took it with us.
It was placed before me.
By?
I don't know.
I was walking to my home and it shot out of the bricks in front of me.
And then I heard a voice that I couldn't find a person to go with the voice.
And it told me to take the letter here to the council.
I've been traveling for many, many days to get here.
From where?
Where did you come from?
I come from Subar, which is just north, you for your own information,
just north of Scornuble, which you have been in in El Toro,
if you remember back to the days of old and the original level one adventures that we had.
So a magic letter.
This voice in your head, was it a woman?
It was a man.
He sounded panicked and rushed.
That was probably Iskander.
Well, it doesn't seem like less or more of a trap now than it did before, so.
No, I was just hoping that maybe if it came from a specific place,
we might be able to, I don't know, get through that way something.
I don't know.
It just seemed like a good thing to know.
Thank you, boy.
Of course.
Go along your way.
Thank you.
You need to stay seated in the place where he was sitting.
Right, because you were here to begin with.
Yeah, that's fine.
You've been traveling for a long time, you take it easy.
I said go on your way, boy.
Walks ten paces and sits on the side.
Of course, of course.
Okay, well, should we hop on this giant owl that is already waiting for us and like,
go a long way?
Or we could take an airship.
Oh, right, airship.
That's a good option.
Because I'm not entirely sure how long it would take on an owl.
And that's a return option where the owl might not be.
Uh, yes, absolutely.
So you're going to where the airships are.
Parked?
Yeah.
They just kind of roam free-range.
Is there anything you guys want to do before you do that?
I don't know.
I think I'm okay.
How about you guys?
I seem to be good, I think.
I'm trying to think if there's any one else that we should see.
I think it's time to do what we do best.
Walk into a trap.
Wait, should we bring Flamikins and Thaddeus with us?
Yes, probably.
More the merrier.
Yes.
Okay, yeah.
I think so, Mulara.
I guess out of game rush, should we?
This is more a question for you.
You're more than welcome to.
I was just going with what you guys were telling me to do.
Straight up, I think that we almost died and some of us did die a couple of times.
With their help last time.
And we had their help.
Yeah.
I think having a wizard and a fucked up little goblin is probably probably just good to have.
Just, you know.
Yeah, let's go get them and see if they want to come.
Because maybe Flamikins is ready to hit the open seas.
Get on a boat.
Yeah, and maybe Thaddeus needs to deal with those grungs.
Who knows?
But let's go see them and ask.
So who do you try and go get first?
Flamikins.
All right, so you head back to your chambers and where you were staying.
And you knock on her door and there is no answer there.
I knock a little harder because she drank hardest out of all of us.
And I bet she's still sleeping.
Yeah, you knock and there's still no answer.
Can you try the handle?
Yeah, it's unlocked.
I look in.
It doesn't appear that she is in there.
Is there stuff in there?
She didn't have much stuff to begin with.
But no, there's no, doesn't look like there's a bag or anything.
Bitch left though saying goodbye.
Well, she did want to get back on the open seas.
I think so.
I'm gonna miss that little pervert.
I know.
Okay, I guess let's try Thaddeus.
Yeah, you know where he told you where he lived.
Whether you remember that or not is, I guess, up to you guys.
Maybe roll for remembering.
12.
Okay, 15.
Two.
Yeah, Nularaaa and Thea, you remember whereabouts he lives.
And you get to his place and knock on the door.
And it takes a little while, a couple knocks.
And he, you hear stumbling from inside and he opens the door and says,
Oh, hi, what's the, what's the, is it go time?
It's go time for us.
Are you gonna come with us?
Uh, yeah.
Do you want to know what you're in for first?
Sure.
What do you got?
We've got a bunch of wizards.
We've got a maze full of things that want to kill us.
So almost certain death, but some adventure along the way.
And hopefully a blue dragon mask at the end.
All right.
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, let me grab my bag.
Let's do this.
Is he drunk?
I'm in a roll of perception.
18.
He doesn't, I mean, he looks intoxicated in some way, shape or form, but.
I feel like he has to fly the damn ship.
No, no, he was wearing kind of, you see him tuck back into his room.
And he comes back out and he's got like adventuring clothes on, but he has put on his robe and
he's like, I'm not going and not being comfortable.
Oh, this is the fancy gold robe.
Yeah.
And he, uh, he slings his bag over and can't forget my frogs.
He pats his bag.
All right.
He locks up his door and says, lead the way.
Where are we going?
Got an owl or something.
We're doing airships.
Oh, fuck.
You're an airship again?
Okay.
Don't crash at this time.
And you guys head back to where the airships are Mored and you, uh, you see someone
who looks like they're in charge, kind of a higher up airship captain.
Excuse me, captain.
Yeah.
We need your finest air vessel.
You hear a voice from up in one of the airships and she goes, fuck yeah, bud.
Let's go get some shit done.
Yay.
I'm an air pirate now.
Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
Have we ever, have we ever mentioned the fae before Russ?
Have they come up at all?
Didn't they wreck like, didn't this have to do with the lizard people, the frogs?
So yes, everybody roll for what notes you might've rolling down.
16.
14.
You hadn't rolled dice in a while.
So yeah, you've heard of the wizards of the fae basically since the beginning.
They've been kind of hand in hand with the cult of the dragon.
Yeah.
Like, aren't they bad guys?
Maybe ask that.
Aren't the wizards of the fae bad guys?
What do you want from me, Amy?
That was wonderful.
There's just a long pause and it was like, character voice.
That was the most Clint McElroy switch from regular voice to character voice I've ever
seen.
There's a Francis.
Did he, did he?
Hold on.
No.
No, don't get into it.
It's fine.
No, hold on.
No, it's fine.
No, it's necessary.
Hold on.
Oh no, it's necessary.
Necessary.
I just have to make sure I get the details right.
Hold on.
The sad, sad details we did not know.
After we do the solo Grancis F, it would be, we'd know all of this.
That's why I couldn't do this before, obviously.
Obviously.
Look guys, he's an amoeba.
Single cell.
Just staring.
I did not, I did not.
I mean solid, but I was not there.
It's like Tom's frozen joke from apparently.
Nobody acknowledged it.
I may not have heard it.
I like a good frozen joke.
It happens to Tom a lot.
I don't know.
There's a lot of times when I'm editing through, I'm like, oh, that's a good joke, Tom.
Why didn't we laugh?
Getch my drift.
A lot of time for short or long rests.
Oh no, we got it.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, no, I get it.
Okay.
Yeah, where are you from?
I come from the land down under.
That's exactly how you said that.
Are there Vegemite Sandwiches down there?
As a matter of fact.
It was probably.
Iskander.
Get the tire.
What?
Iskander.
It's probably just Ichiban.
Sapporo Ichiban?
Oh, Sapporo.
Dumbgeons & Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.